A self-serve service of Snazzie FM
Terms & Conditions
By calling 1‑800‑555‑SNAZ, leaving a voicemail, clearing your throat near the receiver, or thinking about advertising at all, you ("the Talent") agree to the following terms with InstaAd, a wholly-imaginary subsidiary of Snazzie FM ("the Station").
Whatever you say into the phone becomes your advertisement. There are no re-takes. Coughs, sighs, your spouse asking what you're doing, and the long silence where you forgot your own phone number are all considered part of the creative work and may not be removed.
"Thousands of listeners in minutes" is an aspiration, a vibe, and a legally non-binding feeling. The actual figure may be:
You have none. The Station reserves the right to air your spot immediately after a competitor's, during a guest expert's unverified credentials, or directly into a music break with the volume slightly wrong. Ronnie believes in your business. Barry has concerns.
If you flub your own spot — and you will — those takes belong to the Station. Your second failed attempt may air instead of a successful one, at our discretion, for comedic value. This is a feature of InstaAd, not a defect.
InstaAd is free, which is also the maximum refund available. Emotional refunds may be requested in writing and will be filed in the dead-air block.
You agree to hold the Station, its hosts, the intern (Todd, who may not be entirely real), and the undisclosed frequency harmless from any consequence of your advertisement, including but not limited to: increased business, decreased business, callers showing up at your home, or your jingle getting stuck in a listener's head for eleven years.
All transmissions are fictional. InstaAd, its phone number, its thousands of listeners, and its terms are a parody. No business was harmed in the recording of its own spot, though several were embarrassed.
Questions about these terms? Don't call the number — it isn't real. Email instaad@snazzie.space. SNAZZIE FM · All transmissions are fictional.